Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize