I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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