i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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