Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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