I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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