So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
