Sponge bath it is.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
