Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
