i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
