For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
