I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
