my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
