o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize