That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize