My room smells like vodka and shame
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize