things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
its liver damage thursday
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
