i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
