I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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