please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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