Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
