There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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