So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize