Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You were trust falling into bushes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
