i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
