I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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