she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
