Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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