I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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