I could make wine with my vomit
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
