i permit you to call me
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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