Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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