Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
