There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
