so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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