Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
