i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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