She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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