I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I still have a little drunk in my system
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
