If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I seem to have left my pride at pride
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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