all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
