Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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