i jhust puked up my retainher.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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