I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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