My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
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