that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
