it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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