you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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