Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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