she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
