my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
