nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
