i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
