Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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