I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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