I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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