i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize